when can i see you?
when, my love?
i want to see your face
your smile
cos i miss you
i miss seeing your pretty eyes
thoughts of you makes me crazy
and dreams of you makes me feel like
i want to see you in everyday
when can i see you?
when can i touch your hand?
maybe soon…
may words, your sweet words of your sexy voice
fly over the phone
to my ear into the beat of my heart
like music of love
for now,
i hear you breathing me in
each night we talk
i am falling
i am hanging on
impatiently
when can i see you, my baby?
it’s been so long
since i see you standing there
looking at me
flirting with me
then now,
we are together
not seeing each other
made me miss you more…..
~
©Kai C.
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nice lines..please change the colour it’s too light against the background difficult to read!!
thank you. sorry about that
wow..that’s is like oozing romance !!
thank you
Hmmm. What can I say ? the longing has been expressed beautifully and the thoughts have seem to come directly on paper. However, as and when that happens, the language and the rhyme never seems to make sense
Irrespective of that, the thoughts are conveyed atleast. To improve the language and quality of the poem, I would suggest that once you are done with it, leave it for a few days and then in a different mood (to give an objective opinion) read the same again and modify words and phrases which explain the lines even better and more crisply. That would add a lot of weight to your creativity in terms of the use of language as a tool to express your views.