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our time

June 17th, 2010 by aakansha.

I beliv in m n nt in odrz
as i hav a suppoting hand of my mother
with ol d hapines n gay
beliv in wat i say
be slow but alert
as peopl r thr , to thrw on u , the dirt
beliv in urself n say
i m d hapiest gal of d day
just do it d way u feel
but 4 tat tak a healthy meal
try to b patient calm n cul
if nt go n tak bath in a pool
don just b a day dreamer
as den u can nly bcum a rum cleaner
thrz no limit to achiev
bt d pavment u ll hav 2 weave

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4 Responses to “our time”

  1. rahul says:

    it’s nice and fun..i think you could do better without that sms lingo :)

    looking forward to reading more of your stuff!!

  2. Dr. Pritesh says:

    yeah…. get a bit more professional…. :) !!!! ur poems are lively, bubbly n effervescent !!!!!

  3. aakansha says:

    yeah ok ..thnanks….the problem is wen i start making the rhyming pairs….sumtimes that ends in a really funny and kiddish line!!….i actually have that nursery class thinking and attitude that poem needs to have a rhyming scheme….hehe!!

  4. Dr. Pritesh says:

    start writing in blank verse…. use alliterations(i.e. two words back to back starting with same letters) that also gives a poetic feel…. n everything shouldn’t rhyme… it should be meaningful n more importantly express ur feelings…. just try next time… way to go :) !!!!

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